Blog to God

Lord thank You so very much for comming through again and doing more miracles. I do love You Lord and do believe that You are the One and thatlike I trusted You to provide there I need to trust You in everything but I dont know how much longer I can wait. It does not get easier with time, it gets way harder.

Please forgive me for doing that and thinking that, it is not easy and it is not what I wont but then again maybe it is but I dont want to do wrong so is it really what I want. I dont know anymore, I feel like I am loosing it. That was a real kick in the face yesterday, It hurt so much Lord. Maybe it is what I need to hear but what do I do about it. This is like a nightmare that I just need to wake up from. I keep getting kicked and knocked down and keep going back. I need to move on but dont want to. I love them so much and just want to be with them but if they dont feel the same way then I need to get over it and move on but I dont wantt o. I know that it could all be ok. I really know with the way I am now it could be fine, great and wonderful. There would still be some problems but it would still be great. Why cant they see that. Lord I know that You can do anything and that YOu are in control of everything, I just cant get why he most important thing is something You are not doing anything about. It is not really fair to say that as I believe that You do have a plan and that what is happening is part of Your plan but it hurts so much and I dont see how You can want me to hurt like this or any of us to hurt like this.

Lord please guide me and show me the way You want me to go, the path You want me to take. Lord please put me back in their lives like we should be. Thank You Lord. Amen

Thank You for what You did today and yesterday. It was just what I needed, of course I dont think it is nearly what I need but You know better and I dont want to be ungrateful.
This afternoon was a big kick in the face. I just wish I knew why. I have my suspicions but it is more hope that suspicion but who knows and it still hurts like anything and I dont want to carry on like this. If it was not for those 2 I would not mind so much. I am also so lonely right now and dont want to be but dont want that again but at the same time I do. I really dont know what I want anymore. Please help me know what You want then it wont matter. I ask in Jesus name, Amen

Thank You that yesterday was pretty uneventful and went pretty well. Lord I please ask that this morning You speak through me to her because everytime I try I seem to make things worse but it cant go on the way it is. None of use can carry on like this and none of us want to but I need to know what is going on and I cant be blamed any more especially for the current situation. Lord I just dont know what to do anymore and really need Your help in getiing through it. Please also let this sale go through as that is also something that is really needed. Lord I want to do better but cant without Your help and guidance. Please show me what You want me to do. Thanks YOu Lord Amen

WOW, WOW and WOW again although I should not be suprised that You have performed yet another miricle in my life. I wish I could understand You better or really know how to hear You better to know what it is You want me to do. I really want to serve You but am not sure what You want me to do. Lord I really dont know how people could not believe in You. Things might be going badly so they think that a loving God would not let that happen to them but just looking at the world, our bodies, how everything fits together so perfectly (until man comes along to mess it up) and there is no way that it could all have happenned by chance.

Thank You again Lord Amen

Thank You for giving me the opportunity to improve a bit. Thank You for letting me help yeterday and for seeing them without all the fighting. Lord please forgive me for being short tempered with so many people, I should not be and there is no excuse for it so I am sorry and please give me the patience and the knowledge not to. Lord please tell me or show me if this travel business is what I should be doing. I dont want them to move unless we all move to a different country but unless we can get some money to fix the place up, let them study, get a car then there seems to be no choice. I leave it in Your hands and pray in Jesus name that You guide me to do the right thing. Thank You and Amen.